Monday, April 12, 2010

A simple reason men fail ladies, honestly!


The appalling rate of relationship dissatisfaction is negating myths previously not touched by suggestions of fallibility, particularly the saying that human friendship ages like wine or at least it gets better with time. This measurable and enormous problem with traditional mating skills, attraction and romance is best illustrated by the predominance of internet dating sites. In a useful context, nature abhors a vacuum and so these smart guys appear to have devised intelligent scales to test individuals and match their profiles in a dream-like environment where the actors can snap out at the slightest hint of derailment.

But why do men fail women? Traditionally and across cultures, guys tend to be dominant and occupy high-status seats which command a great deal of power and authority. These are also the traits that attract women who instinctively seek shelter where comfort and protection for themselves and their children is paramount. On the other hand women are typically seen as subordinate and occupy lower-status roles. As a result, in most societies, men feel valued because of this obvious higher premium on their contribution. By extension, women are portrayed as devalued. This tiny knot represents the gray area that appears to explain the basis for a lot of dissatisfaction.

It is well known in psychology that people are more successful at accepting the perspective of friend who is perceived to be similar to them rather than of a partner with a drastically different experience or value. Devalued members of a group, as in situations of poverty and eating disorders are often noted to show high mood and personal self-esteem after contact with other seemingly stigmatized individuals. This is attributed to the empathy they show towards each other as result of their shared experience. In some sense, nature inherently creates a predictable mismatch in the initial drive as we seek out partners.

It does not in any way explain all, but give a useful insight into our behavior. There are other potential factors that influence significantly the expression of human behavior. Critically, one’s personality such as consciousness can regulate how individuals process their various relationships but it is obvious that the when partners are similar in terms of the value scheme, the better the zeal to accept each other’s perspective.

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